Reconnecting with goddess the goddess within as I live, learn, and love. Life presents many tests and trials we can’t let them bring us down. We have to take it as a learning experience and build our inner strengths in times of adversity. Writing helps me to connect. My posts come from my heart. I do it to clear my mind. In the process if it helps someone else who may be facing similar issues I am even more grateful. I guess in a way it allows me to live up to my birth name, Monique – advisor.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Taking Control

I took a stroll down memory lane this morning. I started at the most recent pain I’ve been experiencing for the last 3 years. That sounds crazy but it’s true. I have a burden that’s been stealing my joy for that time. I went through some losses and pulled through with the help of a special green herb. It was my miracle herb. I picked myself up. I changed my eating. I started exercising. I even started experimenting with my hair. I started walking a spiritual path with my mate. What seemed to be the beginning of a great new start for us in my eyes, turned out to be something different. He had issues with my herbal remedy and the fact that I said I may never stop. I didn't want to stop because I had connected with a part of myself I thought was dead and I felt free. The truth is I never felt that free since my time before I fell in love with him. I was a hot chick. I was in school and working. Free to be myself with no restrictions. I was living and having safe fun. I was the girl next door who occasionally got tipsy and puffed a little herb. I was finding myself, even spiritually.

When we met it was like we had known each other forever. We were very comfortable. It was actually scary for me to feel that way for someone I just met but I really liked this guy from Brooklyn. He swept me off my feet but it came with conditions. That’s a story for a different blog. Today I realized I have to take control of this situation because just a few months ago I was happy. I started out with a 4.0 in school this semester and then some disturbing news rocked my world. My grades dropped, not too bad though I still pulled through with a 3.25 GPA. It wasn’t easy but I did it. I have to make sure I am happy at all times. I can’t let that situation continue to keep me from being myself, the free spirit. I am taking control of this situation because I want to reconnect with the girl below. Miss Independent:-)

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